Love Is Confusing Blog

12 ways to take care of yourself after a break-up

“You owe yourself the love you freely give to other people.”

You owe yourself the love you freely give to other people quote (1)

After a break-up feelings and emotions are raw. One moment you’re over it and the next you’re missing the person. It takes time to accept what you originally wanted in the relationship might possibly never happen.

It is common to want to crawl up in bed with your favorite movie and a large bowl of ice cream. We all deal with a break-up in our own way. I recommend while experiencing these raw feelings and emotions you create a self-care routine.
I’d like to share 12 ways to take care of yourself after a break-up. Some of these ways are commonly known and others are a bit unorthodox.

  • Clean and declutter your home.

A clean and decluttered home will help you maintain a clear mind. Get rid or hide objects that trigger memories that will make you sad. Place your favorite objects in your space that makes you happy.

  • Do away with negative energy by smudging your home with sage.


Clear the negative energy out of your home with smudge. Smudge is a herb called sage and it is used to clear out the negative energy from yourself, your home, and other spaces. Set your intentions, light your smudge, and move throughout your home holding the smudge root setting your intentions to clear out negative energy.

  • Take a long and relaxing bath with bath with essential oil, Epson salt, candles, and crystals.

Lavender – improves your sleep so it makes you feel calm by relaxing your muscles. There are other benefits to lavender essential oils, which are, reduces stress and anxiety, heals burns and cuts, alleviates headaches, and improves acne and eczema. 
Pink candles and crystals – pink represents love, friendship, romance, peace, for both mental health and physical, heal the heart, emotions, family, and relations. 
Green candles and crystals – green is the color of your heart chakra. For healing, fertility, growth, sensation, health, money, and prosperity.

  • Turn off your phone for an hour a day for uninterrupted time to yourself.

Whatever time length is up to you – one hour, a few hours, half a day, or a whole day. 
Nowadays we tend to use our phones as distractions or to fill a void or worse- publicize what we’re going through on our social media network. Opening up online leaves a chance for others opinions without knowing the whole story. Let’s try to elevate the drama, shall we? 
Also, your recent ex might be trying to contact you during this time or might feel compelled to reach out without good intentions. It is always a good thing to be clear what it is you want before you reopen the line of communication.

  1. Play your favorite tunes and dance, dance, dance.

Music is used as a form of therapy as a way to help reduce stress. Moving your body while in the act of dance makes you feel good. You can’t go wrong with this combination, in my opinion. I personally like to take Zumba classes and I am dying to try a Latin dance class soon.

  • Write yourself a love letter

This is a helpful and healing exercise to do. You can write a loving letter to yourselfthat is also encouraging you too much forward and be open to love. Or you can write a positive and loving message you need to hear about this particular breakup. There is no wrong way to do this exercise. Bring the letter out and read it anytime you feel sad and need to be reminded of the love that is within you.

  • Go for a run or walk in nature.

When we are still for too long random thoughts tend to come to us. After a breakup, not too many positive and loving thoughts come to us. Some of our thoughts are egotistical, self-defeating, or negative about the other person. Going for a run or a walk in nature tends to ground us emotionally and spiritually.

  • Treat yourself to a session with a spiritual counselor or tarot reader or psychic.

I’ve met with therapists while I was going through my divorce a few years back. It is nothing like meeting with a spiritual counselor who can channel energy and see past, present, and future events. Some folks don’t believe in therapy or psychics and tarot readers. For those of you who are more open-minded, I recommend you try meeting with a local spiritual counselor or search for someone on YouTube. It was life-changing for me and anytime I need a guide or a mentor I consult with a psychic or tarot reader to read the energies around me. Did I mention it is life-changing? 

  • Help others who are in need.


It is okay to experience those feelings you feel after a breakup. We need to not suppress or avoid those feelings because if not they will surface in other ways when we least expect it. After you’ve allowed yourself to experience those feelings turn your focus to helping someone in need directly or indirectly. I find it fulfilling to help others and it makes me focus my attention and energy towards gratitude. Gratitude will always trump fear and negative emotions any time.

  • Meditate for at least 20 minutes a day.

Simply pick a quiet space in your home and spend 20 minutes (at least) to yourself. Try not to control the thoughts and feelings that come up as you sit quietly in this space. In these 20 minutes, you will experience a release. A release of your thoughts and emotions.

  • Attend a yoga class or an intensive workout.

If dancing isn’t what you like to do you can try yoga or an intensive workout. You can do this in the privacy of your home or at a local gym. Get your body moving because this will help your body and overall well-being. Working out pumps your endorphins which has some direct stress-busting benefits to help you to feel good.

  • Call a friend or family member to vent over a glass of wine.

There is nothing like spending quality time with your friends and just venting about how you feel over a glass of wine. It literally feels like a comfortable therapy session. Call up someone you trust and ask them if they can spend some time with you. You don’t have to be alone while you go through this breakup and a good friend wouldn’t want you to. 

Remember that is okay to feel the feelings and emotions you are experiencing. However, you have to continue to push forward and pick yourself up out of that. The last thing we want you to do is to sink into a depression. 

So by creating your own personal self-care routine, you will place yourself in a happy state. Sometimes we have to be our own cheerleaders by encouraging ourselves to move forward. We tend to be more present in the moments of suffering longer. Take this time for yourself because you are worthy of love on all levels.

Share with you which of the 12 ways to take care of yourself will you use in your self-care routine?

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